Several days passed before Vanessa's dead and decaying body was found. Who raised the alarm? It was not any official of 'the State' overseeing her welfare, it was no-one in her environs, it was not a member of the faceless online pro-anorexia/pro-gender issues community. Vanessa's corpse was only found following an instinctual and frantic call (at first impeded) to the motel.
This call was instigated by the one person who loved her the most. Her mother.”
THIS IS INCORRECT. I (one of his 'faceless supporters') RANG THE MOTEL AT 10:16AM on 16th JANUARY. I ASKED FOR THE WELFARE CHECK. I have proof of this phone call, and provided this information in a written statement to the police. I was told by the owner, it was not following my call, but after two more calls (from his GP and parents), that the welfare check was conducted.
BUT I RAISED THE ALARM.
His 'faceless' supporters did not know where in the country he was living. We didn't even know which island. We didn't know his legal name. We tried. You bet we tried. He would NOT tell us where he lived because he knew we would call an ambulance. And, we thought he would be taken to hospital following that appointment on the 12th. It took an awful lot of digging to find this information. What else could we have done?! To Alex's parents, we LOVED him. We tried. We are haunted by this. We are not pro-anorexia or pro-gender whatever. We are people too.
We were devastated to think how you both must be dealing with this. But please know, we tried, so hard.
Thank you for this kind reply. I have been devastated by all of this, and the guilt I felt for being 2 days too late has haunted me since. I wanted to fight alongside the parents against the services who were involved in the death of their child. The lack of care is abhorrent. But reading this article was incredibly upsetting and I needed to comment. I wasn't faceless. Their child video called many of us, me only once, but others for hours on numerous occasions. I am happy to provide any proof that I have been involved in the police investigation if it helps. I know details, full names etc. The motel initials were the B M and the owner I dealt with was called B. But I live some 10 hours south of them. There was nothing more I could have done.
Thank you again for the effort you put in to trying to help Vanessa. I believe you have already supplied all your information to the police for the inquest, but if there is anything else you would like to add you can contact me as an intermediary at info@resistgendereducation.nz
It is my (researched) belief that the whole 'fat positivity' movement, selling the idea to girls that you can be fit and fat, has backfired into more of these pro-Ana groups emerging online and girls' becoming increasingly suscepetible to extreme dieting and bulimia, as well as teenage obesity. Trans has cunningly exploited this susceptibility and added a tempting opt out for girls in the delusion that they can 'trans the girl away' and escape the body-image woes of female puberty and womanhood, seen as in some ways a simpler way out for a lot of girls, the perfectionists, the brainy, the manic and autisitc, as well as the same-sex attracted. The one in five girls, at least, who are sexually abused in childhood, as Vanessa was, has for some time been known to be one of the main underlying causes of girls beginning to develop extreme unhealthy eating habits and thoughts. But little continues to be done to expose, punish and ultimately stop it. The root problem is ongoing insufficient public resources for investigating health and social problems like these that affect girls especially, and the relentless mispresentation of the challenges involved and underestimation of the size of the problem as a result. The ideological 'blind spot' is, I fear, not nearly as 'blind' as it might appear. Trans activists know exactly what they are doing, and public agencies, like Women's Refuge and all the State agencies supposed to be looking after Vanessa, have pretty clearly been coached and persuaded $$ to actively deny the extra dangers and risks trans ideation and 'affirmation', creates for girls and women, girls and women who were already radically underserved by the public health, welfare and education services - across the West. Very important to keep talking and writing about this, Fern; your work here is cutting-edge.
Thank you. This similarity between anorexia and transgender ideation was written about as early as 2017 in a way that was entirely credible to me. Explaining the social cachet of one- trans - in occluding the other - anorexia - is so relevant. Why affirm one derangement, but not the other when both are part of mostly female development.. I am so angry with our gullible public services and Vanessa's now silent online friends. Where were they when it mattered? Reporting on her death must not be in vain. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00332925.2017.1350804
All those years ago, Marchiano wrote “It quickly became clear to me that teens were coming out as trans in peer clusters, as we have seen happen before with suicide and eating disorder contagion.”
Then Lisa Littman and Abigail Shrier and now Korte and Gille.
Thank you Fern for exploring further the relationship between anorexia and transgender ideology. Clear powerful writing about a distressing and avoidable death. I’m both sad and mad on behalf of the parents and just mad as hell that nothing has been done to stop this lunacy.
This has me in tears Fern. My heart breaks for Vanessa’s parents and the senseless loss of their beloved daughter. The astonishing incompetence of our public agencies in this case leaves me frankly speechless and fearful for every vulnerable child in our country. And the complete inaction by her pro-ana / pro-trans online “communities” and so called “friends” and the utter stupidity and incompetence of the manager of the motel is nothing short of wicked.
Indeed. I’m very glad that someone (Em G) did try and help. It’s devastating that no-one else did. Why multiple people within the social agency didn’t immediately act and call an ambulance when Vanessa collapsed in front of them and they witnessed her having to lift her legs to get out of the car, is very difficult to understand. And also why this tragic story has taken so long to be uncovered. There needs to be some accountability on the multiple Govt agencies involved. It makes you wonder what other serious failures are taking place on the daily in NZ that we simply never hear about 🥺
Our beautiful girl born then too, plus gender ideology classroom-saturation; plus cruel 2020-2022 national lockdowns; plus social contagion; plus social media algorithms caused a perfect storm of body dysmorphia, eating disorder, self-harm, suicidality right on the starting blocks of puberty.
Our girls came back to school after lockdown one with exhibitions of this damage - waifs, scarred, pale, and haunted.
There was only socially-approved affirmation, there was only peer-approval and whispers, there was only cult-membership as acknowledgement. Nobody would talk about this awful plague of assault on our teen girls in the midst of political compliance with this cruel ideology.
Thank you, Fern and Ruth, for peeling back the plasters, we really need to remember where the harm started and where to focus reforms. And my great condolences to the family for the loss of their daughter, it truly is a tragedy.
Our daughter was born in 2005 as well. You describe so accurately the peer approval and whispers, the school’s political correctness and compliance - indeed the perfect storm. I’m sorry you and yours were caught up in this as well 😞 the damage has ripples that spread far and wide - it’s a tragedy and our girls pay the ultimate price. Trading their bodies for an identity.
Thank you. We wrote to our college to challenge their integrated RSE curriculum. We got woke, inclusive, appeasing and hands-tied responses and referred to the Ministry of Education. Parents of daughters: please watch your young girls carefully, lest they are caught in the cultist-charge to sacrifice themselves on the altar of gender ideology. Schools are still sanctioning this horrible practice.
We pulled our daughter back from the brink but are ever watchful for signs of relapse.
Thanks for another powerful, and insightful analysis. Vanessa's story has not left me for a moment since I read about it. It is the reason I am now going to sell a house I love and move my daughter into the zone of a high school that is at least somewhat less captured. I know my 12 year old girl has many of the known vulnerabilities- so her teenage years are a terrifying prospect. I am so thankful to Vanessa's parents for sharing their story. I genuinely think it will end up saving other children's lives.
Several days passed before Vanessa's dead and decaying body was found. Who raised the alarm? It was not any official of 'the State' overseeing her welfare, it was no-one in her environs, it was not a member of the faceless online pro-anorexia/pro-gender issues community. Vanessa's corpse was only found following an instinctual and frantic call (at first impeded) to the motel.
This call was instigated by the one person who loved her the most. Her mother.”
THIS IS INCORRECT. I (one of his 'faceless supporters') RANG THE MOTEL AT 10:16AM on 16th JANUARY. I ASKED FOR THE WELFARE CHECK. I have proof of this phone call, and provided this information in a written statement to the police. I was told by the owner, it was not following my call, but after two more calls (from his GP and parents), that the welfare check was conducted.
BUT I RAISED THE ALARM.
His 'faceless' supporters did not know where in the country he was living. We didn't even know which island. We didn't know his legal name. We tried. You bet we tried. He would NOT tell us where he lived because he knew we would call an ambulance. And, we thought he would be taken to hospital following that appointment on the 12th. It took an awful lot of digging to find this information. What else could we have done?! To Alex's parents, we LOVED him. We tried. We are haunted by this. We are not pro-anorexia or pro-gender whatever. We are people too.
We were devastated to think how you both must be dealing with this. But please know, we tried, so hard.
If this is true, thank you for trying.
Thank you for this kind reply. I have been devastated by all of this, and the guilt I felt for being 2 days too late has haunted me since. I wanted to fight alongside the parents against the services who were involved in the death of their child. The lack of care is abhorrent. But reading this article was incredibly upsetting and I needed to comment. I wasn't faceless. Their child video called many of us, me only once, but others for hours on numerous occasions. I am happy to provide any proof that I have been involved in the police investigation if it helps. I know details, full names etc. The motel initials were the B M and the owner I dealt with was called B. But I live some 10 hours south of them. There was nothing more I could have done.
Thank you again for the effort you put in to trying to help Vanessa. I believe you have already supplied all your information to the police for the inquest, but if there is anything else you would like to add you can contact me as an intermediary at info@resistgendereducation.nz
It is my (researched) belief that the whole 'fat positivity' movement, selling the idea to girls that you can be fit and fat, has backfired into more of these pro-Ana groups emerging online and girls' becoming increasingly suscepetible to extreme dieting and bulimia, as well as teenage obesity. Trans has cunningly exploited this susceptibility and added a tempting opt out for girls in the delusion that they can 'trans the girl away' and escape the body-image woes of female puberty and womanhood, seen as in some ways a simpler way out for a lot of girls, the perfectionists, the brainy, the manic and autisitc, as well as the same-sex attracted. The one in five girls, at least, who are sexually abused in childhood, as Vanessa was, has for some time been known to be one of the main underlying causes of girls beginning to develop extreme unhealthy eating habits and thoughts. But little continues to be done to expose, punish and ultimately stop it. The root problem is ongoing insufficient public resources for investigating health and social problems like these that affect girls especially, and the relentless mispresentation of the challenges involved and underestimation of the size of the problem as a result. The ideological 'blind spot' is, I fear, not nearly as 'blind' as it might appear. Trans activists know exactly what they are doing, and public agencies, like Women's Refuge and all the State agencies supposed to be looking after Vanessa, have pretty clearly been coached and persuaded $$ to actively deny the extra dangers and risks trans ideation and 'affirmation', creates for girls and women, girls and women who were already radically underserved by the public health, welfare and education services - across the West. Very important to keep talking and writing about this, Fern; your work here is cutting-edge.
I have been featuring this harrowing story. Thanks for your excellent piece.
Don't (of course) affirm anorexia. But affirm being trans. Run that by me again!?
Have cross posted
https://dustymasterson.substack.com/p/we-women-will-not-make-it-easy-for
Dusty
Yes. I don't think that I've ever met or heard of a trans identifying girl/young woman who didn't have disordered eating.
The fact that medical practitioners seem so happy to ignore ED in this cohort is disgusting malpractice that really leaves me fuming.
Thank you. This similarity between anorexia and transgender ideation was written about as early as 2017 in a way that was entirely credible to me. Explaining the social cachet of one- trans - in occluding the other - anorexia - is so relevant. Why affirm one derangement, but not the other when both are part of mostly female development.. I am so angry with our gullible public services and Vanessa's now silent online friends. Where were they when it mattered? Reporting on her death must not be in vain. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00332925.2017.1350804
All those years ago, Marchiano wrote “It quickly became clear to me that teens were coming out as trans in peer clusters, as we have seen happen before with suicide and eating disorder contagion.”
Then Lisa Littman and Abigail Shrier and now Korte and Gille.
And still no one listens.
Thank you Fern for exploring further the relationship between anorexia and transgender ideology. Clear powerful writing about a distressing and avoidable death. I’m both sad and mad on behalf of the parents and just mad as hell that nothing has been done to stop this lunacy.
This has me in tears Fern. My heart breaks for Vanessa’s parents and the senseless loss of their beloved daughter. The astonishing incompetence of our public agencies in this case leaves me frankly speechless and fearful for every vulnerable child in our country. And the complete inaction by her pro-ana / pro-trans online “communities” and so called “friends” and the utter stupidity and incompetence of the manager of the motel is nothing short of wicked.
"The complete inaction by online friends" ? Want to read this and tell me I did nothing? There are two sides to this story. https://archive.ph/J8OSO
To be fair, the comment you take issue with was written two weeks before your efforts to help Vanessa were made public.
Indeed. I’m very glad that someone (Em G) did try and help. It’s devastating that no-one else did. Why multiple people within the social agency didn’t immediately act and call an ambulance when Vanessa collapsed in front of them and they witnessed her having to lift her legs to get out of the car, is very difficult to understand. And also why this tragic story has taken so long to be uncovered. There needs to be some accountability on the multiple Govt agencies involved. It makes you wonder what other serious failures are taking place on the daily in NZ that we simply never hear about 🥺
Especially girls born after 2005.
Our beautiful girl born then too, plus gender ideology classroom-saturation; plus cruel 2020-2022 national lockdowns; plus social contagion; plus social media algorithms caused a perfect storm of body dysmorphia, eating disorder, self-harm, suicidality right on the starting blocks of puberty.
Our girls came back to school after lockdown one with exhibitions of this damage - waifs, scarred, pale, and haunted.
There was only socially-approved affirmation, there was only peer-approval and whispers, there was only cult-membership as acknowledgement. Nobody would talk about this awful plague of assault on our teen girls in the midst of political compliance with this cruel ideology.
Thank you, Fern and Ruth, for peeling back the plasters, we really need to remember where the harm started and where to focus reforms. And my great condolences to the family for the loss of their daughter, it truly is a tragedy.
Our daughter was born in 2005 as well. You describe so accurately the peer approval and whispers, the school’s political correctness and compliance - indeed the perfect storm. I’m sorry you and yours were caught up in this as well 😞 the damage has ripples that spread far and wide - it’s a tragedy and our girls pay the ultimate price. Trading their bodies for an identity.
Thank you. We wrote to our college to challenge their integrated RSE curriculum. We got woke, inclusive, appeasing and hands-tied responses and referred to the Ministry of Education. Parents of daughters: please watch your young girls carefully, lest they are caught in the cultist-charge to sacrifice themselves on the altar of gender ideology. Schools are still sanctioning this horrible practice.
We pulled our daughter back from the brink but are ever watchful for signs of relapse.
Thanks for another powerful, and insightful analysis. Vanessa's story has not left me for a moment since I read about it. It is the reason I am now going to sell a house I love and move my daughter into the zone of a high school that is at least somewhat less captured. I know my 12 year old girl has many of the known vulnerabilities- so her teenage years are a terrifying prospect. I am so thankful to Vanessa's parents for sharing their story. I genuinely think it will end up saving other children's lives.